Man, sorry you are struggling with this, John! And I can certainly understand how frustrating it can be. Not sure if any of the following suggestions would help, but here goes:
1. I assume you have a "somewhat" recent backup. If so, maybe try a clean, fresh, "virgin" installation of OS 10.14.3 after Erasing and Formatting your internal drive. If you don't have a bootable clone as your backup (like with either SuperDuper! or Carbon Copy Cloner), you can do all that via the (hidden) Recovery HD partition on your machine. This link describes that partition:
https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT201314
Once that is done, you'll be afforded the opportunity to "migrate/copy" needed stuff from your backup. Not sure, though, if there is something "nefarious" on that backup that causes problems. Before you upgraded to Mojave, did you make sure that all your third party (ie, non-Apple) applications were compatible with Mojave? This link is useful for that:
https://roaringapps.com/apps
To check out whether or not there is anything nefarious on your machine, you could download and run the following 2 applications (in the order listed):
1. Malwarebytes, available from here:
https://www.malwarebytes.com/mac/
2. ClamXAV, available from here:
https://www.clamxav.com/
Malwarebytes is very good at detecting adware/malware. ClamXAV goes "deeper" that Malwarebytes.
If either of them find problematic files/folders, etc., and after you remove them, maybe make another backup before proceeding with the steps I stated above.
As far as your downloads issues, not sure if that is an issue with your ISP. Maybe try that download over night, when there is less traffic.
Also, for my 2 Macs (a late 2012 Mac Mini, and a mid 2017 13" MacBook Air), downloads go MUCH faster on my Mac Mini. My ISP is XFinity/Comcast, and I have a "somewhat" fast Internet speed tier with them. For example, earlier this morning, I downloaded the new versions of Thunderbird and Firefox on each machine. The Mac Mini "screamed" with these downloads, each of them taking less than 10 seconds. It was definitely longer with the Mac Book Air. Of course, the Mac Mini is with a direct connection to my Telephony Modem and Router, whereas with the Mac Book Air, it is via WiFi.
I also find that to be the case with downloading larger files.
2. Can you use either Parallels Desktop or VMware Fusion instead? Yes, neither of them are free, but from what I have occasionally read, they seem solid.