Thanks for the additional info.
Try the setup guide I linked to above. Apple's wireless devices don't normally play nice with third-parrty routers and extenders, and can be somewhat difficult to setup to join an existing network. Basically, you need to use the AirPort Utility app to set it up to join/extend your current network. You may have to switch to the "new" Apple Network XXXXXX to allow the AirPort Utility to "see" the AirPort Express, so you can go through the setup process. Also, it sometimes works better to use the AirPort Utility app on an iOS device to set it up.
Let us know where you get stuck if you aren't successful using Apple's setup guide.
C